Unsolved Mystery: Who is "The Sexiest Girl of D.M.?"

Note: This post contains Filipino language and references .

According to legend, the letter you are about to read was found in a trendy bar in Malate (the place to be at the time, if you're in the Philippines) circa mid to late 90's. The pure, unedited version (i.e. comedy gold,) has been one of the most widely circulated emails since then and although it's been more than a decade, it still never fails to make me laugh.

To Marjie,

I am not surprise or wander why Dennis leave you.

Why? What reason you can think about but you're very fat body. I'm

thought before that Dennis only use me to his toy but sooner and later

I'm realize that he really can't not beared or stomached to be with

you anymore because at first, Dennis say he could not stand you're

habit of making pakialam all his walks and always calling to their

house what time he go home or this or that and then he say he get

ashame to met you iether in school or in his family and then asking

you to exercise you're very, very, very fat body but you hate it you

thoughth you're the most prettiest girls he know about what do you

think you are "Beautiful Girl" of Jose Mari Chan even you are

beautiful face (to your think) you do not have the rigth to called me

whatsoever or else different name one time or the other for the real

purposed to insults my personality because I'm never call you names

before iether in front of Dennis or in the backs of Dennis, but if you

start already to calling me different name, I'm don't have any other

choice but to called you other different name to like you are a PIG,

FAT, OBESSED, OVERWIGHT AND UGLY SHAPE girl. Shame to you're body that

is to a BUDING. You can't not blame Dennis for exchanging you to me

because I'm am the more sexier than you when you look to us in the

mirror. I'm repeat again that you are like Ike Lozada when she is a

girl.

FROM: THE SEXIEST GIRL OF D.M.

Ps. You say that I'm the bad breathe

But who is Dennis want to kissed.

Me or you? You or me?

And the final is me.

Well-played, "Sexiest Girl." Thanks for the laughs.